What its like

People had been giving us the look for awhile.  The "you have no idea what its like" look in reference to doubling our little people count.  We knew it would be different.  We remembered the good old days after Emma joined our house when sleep was special and there weren't a ton of words coming out of the little one, just poop and yelling.  But we thought, eh it wasn't so bad, right?  Well it is.  And it isn't.  First of all, Kinsley is starting to look almost identical to Emma more and more each day (minus the previously mentioned rug that Emma had that Kins couldn't quite replicate).  But it is just as hard as we (or at least I) expected.  This time around I am at a very busy point in the year (no not doing taxes for the 100th time:) and oh yeah there is the Emma factor.  Overall Emma has been better than I expected - I would knock on wood right now if some were near but I am too tired to go find some (even though its under my feet).  But her emotions are still running rampant and at any moment we could literally have a 30 minute meltdown for very little reason.   So there is that new variability.  then there is the newborn factor.  They are just so much more variable than toddlers and I think I forgot.  you literally don't know if they are going to sleep for the next 4 hrs or get up in 10 min.  you don't know if that lovely noise you heard is a shart - a term which I am not afraid to use where appropriate- or just pure gas.  So Emma volatility + baby variability + mommy being tired = fear by daddy.  Not like I may not live fear, but the kind of fear where I too am worn out from consecutive nights of little sleep and don't think I can handle a major event.  Cooper feels the same way, he is looking at me while I type this with uncertainty in his eyes. 

At the same time I forgot how much fun it is to have a little person who doesn't almost throw out your back to pick up, you will lay on you and not move for more than 2 seconds.  How weird it is to have a little being who really just wants their diaper changed and to be swaddled.  And again Emma has been good.  She is obsessed with Kinsley in a good way.  Emma got a little bunny when Kinsley was born , but insists that its Kinsley's bunny and tries to put it in Kins's face when she is sleeping.  Someday we will explain to Emma what a suffocation risk is, but for now we'll just enjoy it.  She also wants to hold Kinsley a lot, which I think is a good sign.  and when Emma is talking to Kinsley in what a teacher would call an outside voice, Kinsley doesn't budge because she's used to it already.  And Emma overall has gotten a bit more affectionate which isn't something I will complain about.  So really we are blessed.  I am still scared but blessed.

Lela seems to be recovering well from everything.  Pinterest is her obsession this time around, so there's a 50/50 chance that Lela will forgo going back to work to be a chef who exclusively cooks Pinterest meals and that I will have to cut back in hours to work on the new projects that pinterest proclaims are so cute and neat.  Thanks Pinterest. 

I don't think I posted either but we've had some big developments in recent months.  while grandpa and grandma were here in December Emma decided it was time to work on some potty training.  she's been doing really well since and even has pooping down.  by down  I mean it is our new favorite stall tactic.  if I had a dollar for every minute Emma was allegedly going poop, I could go to starbucks for a month.  Wait, maybe I should do that, good thought to self.  Anyway, Emma also moved to a big girl bed.  Its so weird to go in there and see her in this giant bed, but due to her ever increasing stuffed animal population it was necessary.  Not kidding, we are up to about 10 friends in bed, with some nights where their presence is requested around Emma's head to the point where she is no longer visible.  She's our little hoarder.  But she likes the bed.  Knock on wood but it all seemed to go well, we tried to be cautious to not throw too much change into the mix around Kinsley's arrival, but some of it just happened and it seems to be going relatively well.  Which is scary.  yes i live in constant fear.  In a good way.

Here are a few pics from our professional session and one from Kinsley's birth. I will upload more later, but am too tired and scared.